She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
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