She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
