so explain again why im purple
no
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
