The maid of honor just puked.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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