around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
