her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
