Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
tell me about the fingering
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
