Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
