can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
