Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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