I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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