no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
