I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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