when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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