I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
