would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
