How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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