You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
farters have to be the big spoon...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
