No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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