I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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