scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
