Tell her she can't have a vagina
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
