yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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