My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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