Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
