Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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