My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
