the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
