I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
