just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
