i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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