love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
