why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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