:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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