Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
