Kiss
Puke
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I am available for nakedness
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
