I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
the raccoons are back...
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