Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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