I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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