Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
