sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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