Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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