just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
