I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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