Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
