I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
