I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
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