youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
