So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
