Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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