so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
